out of control.

I decided yesterday that I was going to teach my virtual Bottoms Up! yoga class tonight from my porch, and by golly, I DID.

When I started, it was windy and drizzly, and you know what? Being outside in the uncertainty actually felt… really good.

Reflecting on it now a few hours later, that could’ve been so triggering. I was out of control, I didn’t know if it would pour on me in the middle of a recorded virtual class or not. It could’ve been ruined.

And let me tell ya. My anxiety has been pretty high lately. So, I just started talking about it.

I talked about the weather. I talked about feeling the wind and the drops of rain on my skin. About my mat getting wet. About how, as long as there was no lightening, I would stick it out.

And for whatever fucked Yo reason, that shit really nurtured my tense and fearful heart. Being out of control of the weather was kind of like, some natural sort of exposure therapy, and I’m reminded how THINGS HAPPEN.

Stuff happens and I’m not always in control. The only thing I can control is ME. My response. And I can be anxious/frustrated/upset/calm/peaceful/happy/excited/whatever or even all of these at the same friggen time because feelings are complex and can co-exist and I don’t need to control them either. But 🎶 I’ve got the power 🎶 over myself to move through life the way I choose & want to/need to at any given moment, despite or in spite of my circumstance or even my feelings.

And shooooooo, y’all. I feel empowered by that. 🙌🏻

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