love/hate.

I have such a love/hate relationship with Warrior II. It’s such a strong, powerful pose that often also feels like a relief to me during practice. The rotations all over the body in this pose feel SO good to me.

But when I see my Warrior II, I was often distracted by my upper arms. I was ashamed of the way my softness would hang from my arms.

I grew up hyper aware of this area, and had the most judgmental, most harsh, and most degrading nicknames for them. It wasn’t until recently that I acknowledged that it was a defense mechanism to make fun of myself first. I hate the way soft arms have been been labeled in my head, and I fight with my conscious and subconscious to change that.

I’ve spent the last few years rolling onto my side at the end of practice, resting my head on my upper arm and thanking my body for carrying me through another practice, speaking with love to my body, and reflecting with gratitude on the way my arm cradles my resting head.

Which has brought me here. My arms are stronger, of course, but still soft, too. They’re different but in some ways, still the same as they were before.

And I can finally look at my Warrior II and not wince or cringe or be afraid to share it. I’m as grateful as ever for this body, as proud as ever of what it can do and has done.

I shared recently in my Instagram stories what @iamjamieleefinch shared about being unable to simply stop hating your body; that hate needs to be crowded out with love, and I have found that to be evidently true in my experience.

Ceasing to hate my body didn’t happen because I decided. I started searching for the ways I could love my body, and it expanded from there.

Eventually, there just wasn’t room left to hate it.

And it doesn’t stop there!

Daily, I’m pursuing that love, always filling that cup, and giving grace when it doesn’t come easily. Reminding myself that decades of negative language takes time to unlearn.

It’s my hope for you that today and every day, love and gratitude crowds out any lingering disparaging ideas you have about your body, until hatred and dissatisfaction just stop making sense.

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